We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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