So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
