yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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