Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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