I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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