I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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