i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
