So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
