I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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