he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
