she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
