A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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