ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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