all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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