Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
