i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
