I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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