i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
