I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
