The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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