Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
