you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
