I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
