How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
