but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
