it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I wear drunk well.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
