If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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