Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm too high and old for this...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
