I am spending my child support on dildos
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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