Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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