The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
