She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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