Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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