i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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