and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
