woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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