I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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