Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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