Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
