he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
