When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
