We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
