She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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