He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
