So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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