A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i need some magic done to my vagina
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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