Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize