we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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