I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He has the fingertips of a God
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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