So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
